I’m being forced to look critically at my game right now because I’m not getting laid. I’m not closing and I know there is something wrong if the more I go out and the more confident I get, the less I get laid. 2 + 2 is giving me 5, something is not right. I can think of several possible explanations.
1. The numbers. I was approaching more this summer and perhaps I’m pulling less because I’m just doing less sets.
2. It’s just a swing in my game. Just as a poker player can do everything right and lose lots of money due to swings, this may just be a natural swing where all the girls I could pull have bad logistics or whatever.
3. I’m fucking up.
Let’s assume the third choice is to blame. I can’t control the second choice, and the first one I’m already doing a fairly good job of handling. Like Saturday when I approached most of the girls in the entire venue. So, I’m fucking up. How?
One possible thought is the style of game I’m using. When you go out there are basically two schools of thought. Indirect vs. Direct game. With indirect game you do very little to no kino. You ask a lot of questions. You keep your intentions masked and in general don’t do things that get you blown out. You may not even lead a girl around the venue and you may not try to separate a girl from her friends. To some extent this has been the game that I’ve been practicing for the last three to four weeks.
With indirect game the idea is to friendzone her then break her out of that later on and hookup. It’s all obviously more complicated then this and there are hours and hours of theory on it, but I’m not getting into that. I’m just going to say that I’ve been practicing this (especially asking lots of questions) for the last month or so. The result is that I’ve pulled 0 times, even though I’m more confident. That’s bullshit and I’ve had it!
One of the ironies of my game, that I only just realized, is that two months ago I was at a place where my main goal was to do nothing but make statements. I would literally get pissed at myself if I asked a question. I was working towards that because I saw the attraction it generated and I saw the results it got me. Then somewhere along the way something changed and now I’m doing almost nothing but ask questions. It happened gradually and I didn’t even notice. Well shit.
I’m going back to the direct, statement based game. It’s more fun and the results are better. I have no doubt that indirect game can be incredibly effective. I’m sure there are guys who slay it using indirect game. In fact one of the big draws of indirect game is that it allows you to do less sets and get more success. Well fuck me because all it’s gotten me is doing lots of sets and getting no results. Time for change.
Here’s how I define direct game, as it works for me. I go up and open her with something polarizing. I may make a statement This party is awesome right now! I love Le Bain on Wednesday nights. Or I may make a screening comment like You’re not wearing enough black to be in here. I’m going to get the bouncer and he’s going to revoke your New York privileges. A girl is either going to like this or not like it. But I’ll know immediately! One of the problems I’ve faced with indirect game is that it makes it easy to get these long sets but there is rarely much there at the end.
So I do the approach and now I start making statements and being calibrated physical. Depending on the situation I may escalate extremely quickly or I may stay relatively hands off. But the whole time I’ll always be looking for ways to move towards the makeout. Once that happens I back off a bit, I ask more questions, I screen for logistics, I move her around the venue, I figure out the situation with the friends, and I pull her home where we fuck till sunrise.
That’s my direct game in a nutshell. It works. I’ve pulled multiple times with it. I abandoned it mostly because I was exposed to indirect game and a series of promises such as:
1. It doesn’t matter as much what your state / mood is.
2. You don’t have to open as much.
3. It’s easier to build a social circle.
Maybe, maybe not. I’m not willing to spend the time right now to get really good at indirect game and find out whether that’s all true. Right now I just want to get laid. I want to pull. Also, from what I’ve heard indirect game is more effective on 9s and 10s. Well I’m not even in a place where I’m pulling 7s, so I should be fuck all worried about how to game the next Heidi Klum.
That’s why I’m going back to direct game. Which in one sentence can be summed up as: make way more fucking statements, be polarizing, be more physical. Stop asking so many damn questions.
To say that this last month of mostly practicing indirect game was a waste would not be true. The biggest thing I got out of it is that I got way, way better at asking good questions and really listening to the answer. I got better at asking insightful questions too.
For example, anyone can ask about the weather or where you’re from. But it takes some skill to smoothly move it to a place where you’re asking a stranger personal questions like what they’re afraid of, what they dream of, or whatever. I mean yeah, you can just flat out ask this type of question but if it’s uncalibrated it will look weird and probably fall flat. I’ve got fairly good at navigating this terrain and figuring out how to do it well.
And that’s really the big lesson I guess. I’ve had a good time practicing this stuff, but I’m going back to the point where my entire goal is make statements, ask a question and you’re a bitch!