I was debating calling this post The Importance of Having a Mentor, but I opted against that. The truth is that Distant Light is not my mentor in any traditional sense. I’ve never met him and if I saw him at the club it’s possible that I wouldn’t recognize him. That being said, I know him well because I’ve spent hours reading his field reports. I compile them into Word Documents and print them out at work. The stack is now several inches thick and weighs as much as a Thanksgiving turkey. What’s the point of this madness? Having a mentor (role model) does several things.
1. It shows you what’s possible. Distant Light does things that I would have a very difficult time imagining on my own. He opens up my brain to fascinating possibilities.
2. Having a mentor also gives you a goal to aim towards. Learning game is a multi-year journey along which you’re constantly refining your direction. With the aim of embodying certain characteristics of a role model you can keep the ship sailing in the right direction more often.
Why Distant Light?
The pickup community is a good thing. It helps guys to get laid who might otherwise have a lifetime of no sex or shitty sex. It helps guys to build confidence and make cool new friends. It helps to make people social and get rid of video games and weed. That being the case, there are also some really shitty parts of the community.
*An obsession with getting laid at all costs. The belief that a higher lay count makes a person “better”.
*A belief that women are the enemy and it’s OK to use whatever psychological warfare is necessary to get them into the bedroom.
*A belief that guys are tools and should always be AMOGGED lest they steal your girl.
And so on..
Distant Light takes a different approach to game. He’s social with everyone and dominates venues by being the most outrageous person imaginable. He doesn’t focus on getting laid, and yet he has options to pull every night. He cares about growth over the external result. He would rather learn a lesson and become a stronger man than stick his dick in something.
More pragmatically, he also rails against the get “blown or blown out” approach to pickup. That is, aggressive direct approaches that leave little room for anything but sex right then and there, or nothing. Instead, Distant Light harvests leads. He goes around the club exchanging numbers with women. He may do this with as many as a dozen women in any given night. Night after night. Quickly he has a phone full of potential leads to meet up with for sex. At the end of night not only does he have ten good numbers to hit up, he still has the option to pull one of the girls. But that’s not his entire game, he’s mostly focused on seeding these pulls. He may meet a woman, exchange numbers, then hook up with her six months later. That’s a long time to wait, but by consistently doing this he builds a consistent stream of women to sleep with, almost all of whom are model quality.
Distant Light the Spiritual Mentor
Straight up, if you’re not into philosophy, psychology, and some esoteric spiritual stuff, then Distant Light is not for you. He goes pretty deep into stuff like out of body experiences and intense meditation exercises. Sometimes it’s cool, sometimes it’s way too much and I throw the field reports down and smack my head. I question why I’m reading about him denying reality and living in his fantasy-land. Things can get weird.
In my opinion though, this spiritual stuff gives him incredible depth. You can see how he’s not going out to rack up the lay count, he’s going out to have an awesome time, meet a bunch of people, enrich women’s lives and give everyone a chance to have a better night. And by doing so, he has his pick of the hottest women in New York. This is perhaps why I like him so much. He gives, gives, and gives but also spends almost all his time out with 9s and 10s. He’s almost the exact opposite of the sleazy PUA spitting some bullshit lines and trying everything to manipulate some girl into sucking his dick.
On the spiritual front, a helpful primer is the book: My Big TOE. At 800 something pages it’s a bit of a hefty ready but it will help you to decipher what the hell Distant Light is about.
Finding Your Own Mentor
I’m not suggesting that DL is for everyone. I chose him because I’m somewhat interested in the spiritual stuff (at a much lower level than DL), I live in NYC just like DL, I want to build a massive social circle like DL has, I want access to the best clubs like DL has, and I want to become an over-the-top extrovert who gets laid because he’s having the most fun out of everyone at the club, not because I’ve memorized some bullshit or have the best frame-control of anyone on the planet. So for me, Distant Light is the ideal mentor. Also, there’s the simple fact that he’s written tens of thousands of words so it’s easy to get into his head.
Whether DL is good for you or not, I suggest having someone that you can look up to. Find someone who is living your ideal lifestyle and then learn everything about them that you can. Even if you never speak with them in person they can still have a large influence on your life. Finally, if you’d like to learn more about Distant Light check out his field reports. I’ll attach the Word Docs below. Altogether maybe 150 single spaced pages.