There’s an idea involving wealth which is fairly intuitive. New wealth people (entrepreneurs, first generation finance guys, etc.) tend to do everything in their power to show everyone else how wealthy they are. They buy Lamborghinis, shop at the Gucci store and post their private jet trips to Instagram. The money is a big fucking deal to them and they want everyone to know they have it. What about the old wealth families who have been rich for generations? They live luxury lives but they won’t brag about it or try to prove how much money they have. In fact, in many cases they may go out of their way to conceal how wealthy they are. How does this relate to girls?
A guy who is good with girls and has gotten laid his whole life has nothing to prove. He has lots of sex, that’s his life, it’s no big deal. But for the guy who has never really gotten laid before, once he finally starts pulling it’s a very big deal. He (typically) brags to his friends, tells his pickup buddies, and exhibits other behavior that make it obvious that getting laid is a very big deal to him.
Example: I’m part of a group chat with a bunch of PUAs from NYC. Recently one guy posted a picture of a girl and told everyone it’s the second chick he’s slept with in 24 hours. That’s awesome, I know that he’s worked very hard to reach that skill level. However, what’s he really doing? He’s feeding his ego, boasting to a bunch of guys he’s never met, and basically showing to everyone that getting laid is still a big deal and not simply his lifestyle. A natural would never create a post like that, talking about his sexual exploits to a bunch of strangers in a group chat. In fact I’ve known very, very good naturals who have turned down sex with attractive women because they didn’t feel like it was in alignment with their values or that they would be better men because of it.
What’s the Point?
Basically this: don’t be the new-girls guy. Don’t be the guy who has to brag about getting laid and flaunt it in front of a bunch of sex-starved strangers. You’ll get some props, but you’ll also hurt yourself because the really cool dudes will know exactly what you’re about. Besides, the more attached you are to the results, the harder it is to get future results. Would you rather lead the life of having non-stop sex, or be perceived as leading that life? Would you rather be the guy who can realistically afford a Toyota but buys a BMW, or be the guy who can afford a Lamborghini but drives a Honda?
This is a concept that I think about often and I try to apply as much as possible to my own life. For instance, I rarely talk about my sex life with any of my friends. When I pull I write a field report about it and I usually tell my wingman who was there with me that night, but that’s all. I don’t want the recognition of having pulled, I want the lifestyle where I’m pulling all the time, even if nobody else on this planet knows about it.
So ask yourself, are you a new-girls guy or an old-girls guy? If you’re exposing yourself as a new-girls guy, how can you move that to the point where sex is normal and you’re not trying to show off? Also, check out this fantastic video, Brad fucking nails it.