Thinking bigger picture, I see pickup as a means to an end. In this case, the end goal is becoming a genuinely social person who is outgoing in life, not just at the club. I want to become the guy who is social whether it’s at the club talking to a gorgeous woman or at the laundromat talking to an 80 year old Polish grandma. It doesn’t matter, I’m not trying to gain something, I’m just being social and offering value. That’s my lifestyle, it’s not a front or a tactic. To that end, I see several foundation principles.
- Treat every girl the same. It doesn’t matter whether she’s my ideal woman or completely unattractive, I treat her the same. A girl is a girl. I have fun with the fifty year old lady checking out my groceries and I have fun with the twenty-two year old club chick who is going to suck my dick in the bathroom. There are so many advantages of living life like this.
For one thing, I can think less. I’m not filtering everything through the lens of “she’s hot, I need to turn on the social charm” or “she’s low value, it doesn’t matter. I’ll just be cold.” Fuck that! I can remove these filters and just be that social guy as a way of life. This has the added benefit that..
When I do see that ideal girl I approach her without thinking and I’m social without thinking because it’s just who I am. I don’t make a big deal out of it, which means she’ll probably get attracted to me.
- Offering value. My life is glorious, I have good vibes for days and I’d like to share that with other people. The more people the better! I don’t care whether they’ll give it back or what I get out of it. It’s true that I don’t always feel like I’m overflowing with good spirits, but when I do (and it’s happening more and more often) I’d like to bring that into other people’s lives.
If you really stop to look around you see so many sad looking people with shitty posture and who don’t look friendly. I want to be the 180 degree opposite of that! I want to be the guy who someone meets and remembers for a week because I was so much different than the average beaten down человек..
- Practicing pickup is really just the spark that starts the forest-fire. I build that spark in the club where I get to do all sorts of cool stuff and be uber super social, but that starts the fire that carries over into my daily life. I’m social and flirty with girls on the subway, girls in line for Subway, girls everywhere. I want to remove my limiting beliefs and fears and recognize that girls are girls and since “girls love me” I always have value to offer!
I could go on but I think I fairly well covered it. Pickup is a fantastic way to get the fire going, but I don’t see it as the ultimate goal. As in, I don’t want to be the guy who has 58 fantastic ways to handle objections to the pull or 21 ways to get a girl isolated from friends. That’s cool, but ultimately I want to reach the next level which is being the super social, cool dude who sucks girls into his world. Whether that’s at the grocery store or at 1 Oak.
The Silliest Thing..
Obviously there are a lot of things influencing my desire to be a social guy at all times, but one of the most obvious ones is this: how silly is it that when I go out to the club at night I turn into this social dude who approaches every girl in his sight-line but then shuts the fuck down during the daytime? Really, I can approach 30 women over the course of the night but I see one girl at the pizza place and I freeze up? After a while there is some major cognitive dissonance here. Everything I’m doing at night proves that I’m a social guy (notice, this comes from massive experience not affirmations. Affirmations have not worked well for me, especially when they’re obviously untrue. Like saying “My game is a 10” when it’s obviously not. Instead, I’ve found something that works much better for me than affirmations, but this is a topic for another article).
I really and truly believe that I was meant to be this social person but I had it beaten the fuck out of me by an over-bearing father. I think that under different circumstances I would naturally be that super-fun party guy! My childhood may not have resulted in that, but I look at it as an OK thing. I’m going to become that person I was meant to be and because I had to go through the journey and the challenge of it I’ll have a tremendous depth of character that I might not have had otherwise. Also, even though my father beat the social side out of me (figuratively, her never laid a finger on me) he did teach me some incredibly valuable skills like work ethic, discipline and how to be man. For that I’m incredibly grateful.