Apart from the nights where I’m drinking Jameson and not giving a fuck, I always have a plan for what I’d like to improve. This past week it was leading a girl. I give myself a B- on it. On the nights when I remembered to do it, I did fantastic. However, I forgot all about it on the other nights. If I had done it every night I would have given myself an A+. That’s just one specific sticking point. Here are some other things that are floating around in my cranium.
1. Using Third Person
One big thing I learned from indirect game is that you don’t want to talk about yourself too much. I agree with that, and also disagree. It’s a nuanced point. Here’s how I see it. On one hand I absolutely want to talk about myself and share personal details. However, when doing so I want it to be intensely personal stories or other examples that make me stand out as a human being. What I don’t want to do is say stuff like “I think hard work brings success” or “I consider global warming to be a problem” or whatever. Those are random examples. The point is that I want to reframe those in the third person, so it sounds more like “A lot of people say that hard work brings success” or “Experts say that global warming is already a large problem”. The idea is to say certain sentiments in the third person so that I’m still expressing a concept but it’s more relatable and less about myself.
2. Reopening Sets
Any drunken frat boy can open a set, but what sets the men apart from the boys is reopening sets throughout the night. I’m just starting to see the power of this. That being said, I’ve realized that accidentally reopening, or situationally reopening, doesn’t work as well. For example, last night me and my wingman talked to two girls for five minutes, then they left. We went to the other side of the club and then they happened to walk by. We said hey to them but it went nowhere. It looked like we had only reopened so that it wouldn’t be awkward. What I think is 100x more powerful is purposefully reopening a set with just as much intention as the the first open. This holds a lot of potential and I’m going to be getting into it from now on. This is also a fantastic example of pushing my comfort zone and getting better. It used to be easy to grow because I had awful approach anxiety so just approaching lifted me up. But now approaching does not help me grow, I have to do other things that require more conscious thought. Reopening sets is an example of that.
3. Always Smile
I’ve noticed my results go way up when I open a set with a big smile. This is hardly groundbreaking but it is important to keep in mind. Smiling is also a must when attempting to move a set. The more you smile, the higher the chance she’ll follow.
4. Getting Awkward Numbers
I have several dozen numbers in my phone and for the most part they’re worthless. 90% of numbers I get in the club never even text back and then of those, 9% never agree to a meetup. Obviously something is no good. On one hand there is my constant thought of simply getting so damn attractive that she wants to get my number and text me. There’s that. But before that happens, I also want to fix some problem because recently I’ve been having these great interactions with girls and I get their number and they still don’t text back. It doesn’t make sense, I’m an attractive guy. Do they really have so many options that they’re not even going to return my text? Something seems off. So that leads to the concept of awkwardly getting the number. The idea is to be socially uncalibrated and get the number with so little game that she almost doesn’t even want to give it to you. You want it to be mad awkward so that when you text her the next day, and she’s just in regular everyday state not club state, it matches up to the state she was in when you got the number. Does that make any sense? Honestly I have no idea if this concept is worth anything or if it’s total horseshit. However, I’m 100% willing to try it out. If I do the awkward number grab on ten girls, and even just two of them text me back, that will be a 100% improvement over now when just one in ten text me back. Plus, I like doing retarded shit and this type of thing is right up my alley.
5. Taking the Orbital View
I was watching a pickup video yesterday which made a good point. With the plethora of content available today it’s easier than ever to get good fast. However, the flipside is that it’s also easier to feel bad about your current results. You can go online and watch three-way makeouts and hear stories about orgies and feel like because you’re not there that you’re failing. I’ve been feeling a bit of that recently because I haven’t closed in almost two months, even though I go out five nights a week. However, I think that ultimately I’m being a bit hard on myself. Last week in a five day period I pulled twice but both times the girl refused to have sex. One was married (I think) and the other was just not down for a ONS. I can’t control that, but I can feel pretty fucking cool that I pulled twice in a five day period. I’ve never done that before. Also, even though the results aren’t quite there yet, I can easily tell that my game has grown massively. I’m so much better than I used to be and I’m enjoying going out now more than ever. That’s big. So I guess my point is that I trust the results will come, and until they do this current lack of results is giving me powerful motivation to go out and approach more, learn more, and become a better person. And if I really, really, really need to do something, I can always pull one of the sixes who I meet once or twice a week who are 100% DTF. Anyways, my point in writing this is to give myself a break and to help myself to not focus so much on the results. Also, when I’m amazing at this, other guys may benefit from this post because they’ll realize that I went through shit periods where I didn’t have results but I just kept hammering it out. It’s easy to look at a master in any field and believe they’re “lucky” or “naturally talented”… It’s much less glamorous to look at the years of hard work and tough emotions they slogged through to get to the point of mastery.