I think there are several reasons that I’ve gotten decent at meeting women fairly quickly. I’m always positive, I always write field reports, and I consistently have a plan that allows me to work on precise sticking points and get better. So I’d like to mention a few things I’m currently working on, and what absolutely has not been working for me. Let’s start with the fucks-ups.
Don’t do this
Eons ago (4 months ago) I used to open girls by asking if they’d like to dance with me. 0% success rate. Stopped doing that. But what I’ve noticed is that sometimes I’ll open a girl, talk for like 10 minutes then asks if she wants to dance. Success rate on this? Literally 0%, it doesn’t work. Girls do not want a guy to ask them if they like to dance, they want a guy to just take them to the fucking dance floor. Starting immediately I will never ever ask a girl if she likes to dance. I will just take her to the dance floor.
I made this mistake on Friday when I pulled the girl from this club (but not all the way home). Instead of setting it up as It happens tonight or it never happens, I kept saying oh let’s go out to this club tomorrow night. Let’s meet up then! In the moment I was all happy thinking about these cool plans, when all I really wanted was to get laid that night. Literally the next night this girl hits me up to go to a club (like I said we should do a dozen times) and I don’t even respond lol. I was out hanging with the guys in LES. So essentially the lesson is if I’m with a girl and the logistics are good and she’s down to be pulled, I never want to set up the possibility of a day (or night) two. I always want to frame it as tonight or never. That being said, I’m building a social circle in NYC so if she’s really really not going to be pulled I’ll still get her number and suggest we go out, but I never want to proactively try to set up a day two.
Not talking to the girl I like. I open a set and there are two girls. I end up talking to the one I’m less attracted to. Maybe I’m more nervous to speak to the cuter one, maybe I feel like she won’t like me, maybe I think the less attractive one will be easier to hook up with, maybe I just feel bad because the less attractive one gets flirted with less. Idk the exact reason but it’s fucking retarded. I would rather blow a set than always end up with the girl I like less.
Asking too many questions (especially in a vain attempt to keep the interaction alive). This shit fucks me up and destroys sets like no other. I get too invested, I become just another boring guy, and it’s just shit. This is especially difficult for me though because A) I naturally like to listen more than speak B) I ask a lot of questions in “real life” so it’s a habit for me. Got to break it when it comes to game though.
Constantly in my game I’m focusing on different things. Sometimes it’s leading, sometimes it’s verbal game, sometimes it’s not asking questions, and so forth. Really though I’m always trying to focus on core fundamentals that bring the most results. 80/20 Pareto’s principle analysis. Example. My verbal game isn’t great, but becoming suave as hell is not super important right now. If I say somethings stupid or run out of things to say I can just pick a girl up and spin her around or lead her or whatever. So I’d rather focus on other areas that have a higher payoff. Which is why I’m excited to share my biggest, number 1, super focus right now…..
Maintaining energy throughout the night! On an average night I can get 2 – 3 solid hours of decent energy. After that I crash and I feel like everyone else at the bar is having 1,000x more fun than me. On a good night I get 4 – 5 hours, which doubles my chances of finding a cool girl to procreate with. So this is obviously a huge focus as every single minute of energy I gain can potentially have a huge difference on my results. I gave up on energy drinks after leaving Russia and I really believe in gaming sober 90% of the time, so how am I going about getting my energy up? Approach everything. Mental fatigue comes from making loads of decisions. So by constantly deciding whether to approach or not I tire myself out. I’ve noticed that when I don’t think and just approach, those nights I can stay out longer. Not only that, but any guy who has gone out before will know about the boost of energy you get from approaching. So by chatting with everyone (large women, skinny girls, ugly ladies, beautiful bitches, short chicks) I can keep my natural energy up and game for longer. This is big.
I’m also big on getting numbers whenever appropriate. Building this social circle I want to have dozens and dozens of people to hit up every weekend. Right now if it’s the weekend and I want to party with friends it’s like 95% dudes, but it’s going to get to be 90% dudes, then 80%, and before you know it I’ll be throwing parties and inviting 20 guys and 20 girls and it’ll be awesome. Then 10 guys and 30 girls and it’ll just be nuts. Realistically that probably won’t happen until next summer, but it will never happen if I don’t keep collecting numbers like my alcoholic ex-roommate collected whiskey bottles and hangovers.