1. Wingman’s Influence
Last week I mentioned that I allowed a periphery PUA to kill my momentum. I was having a good night but when I stopped to talk to him my momentum died. The rest of the night went poorly. I identified this problem and didn’t make that mistake again.
Well it happened again last night. I was about six sets deep, one set had gone really well, I was feeling fantastic. I talked to one wingman for a second, saw a set, and said to him “Let’s go approach. You want to do it?” He wavered, he acted uncertain, he actually asked me “Which one do you want me to approach?” He might as well have asked me “What should I do with the rest of my life?” What a bitch question to ask. Instead of just ditching him and opening the set I talked for a while longer and lost that razor edge I had. The rest of the night went well, but it didn’t go great. It’s likely that if I had blown him the fuck off and gone for that set, the night could have gone better.
I’m a nice guy. I want to help out other guys, get them approaching, get them having a good night. It makes them happy, it makes me happy. But if it comes at the price of them crushing my state that’s not fair. That’s why I’ve been enjoying my new wingman who has only been to one nightclub in his whole life. He’s as new as you can get, but when I point out a set he dives in without fucking asking “Which set should I approach?”. Anyways, continually refining the lesson of momentum. Crucial to keep it going, not let it be influenced by non-action-taking individuals.
2. The Girl’s State of Mind
Because of the 21st Century’s obsession with casual sex, or because of game, my tendency is to believe that girls are instantly down to hook up (when I say this it never means to make out, only to sleep together). In that same line of thinking I tend to believe that if she’s not down for it right that moment, she’ll never be down for it with me and I should move on. However, I’m realizing this thinking is flawed. Girls are down for casual sex but they have to be comfortable with you first. Even when it comes to the kiss, a girl may be attracted to you after ten minutes of talking but she’s simply not ready for the makeout. Whereas another girl will makeout in fifteen seconds. This varies by girl, it’s not fixed.
Learning this is important for me because it opens new opportunities. It teaches me that if I’m in set for ten minutes and the girl is attracted but won’t kiss me, that doesn’t mean she never will. It just means that she’s not ready yet. If I like her, stay in there. Keep going. Let her get to know me more and she probably will kiss me at some point. Or if I don’t like her enough, bounce. Simple, easy. This is an elementary lesson but it’s something that’s changing my approach to game. I’m seeing opportunities where I earlier saw nothing. If before I approached 150 girls to get one pull, I think that now I can cut that down to 100 girls or maybe even 75. One of the great things about learning a skill in the beginning is that massive improvements are possible in a short amount of time.